180: The Tough Love Episode - Querying

 

Sometimes you just need a kick in the pants when it comes to querying. If that's what you need, this episode is for you! 

------

- Click here for ways to work with me + a free character profile template: www.thekatiewolf.com/info

- The last Tuesday of the month is a Q&A episode! Submit your questions for me HERE.


- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiewolfwrites

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiewolfwrites

 

 

The Tough Love Episode - Querying

Hi friends, welcome back to your big creative life Podcast coming to you from the floor. I was sitting in front of my window recording some content. I have a light like a not a ring light, but a little rectangular light that I use sometimes when I'm recording videos, just so in case, the lighting is not great, but I never remember to charge it, and it's just honestly so much easier to sit in front of a window. So I think this is tilted I see. Okay. So I was like, let me just podcast here as well. Since I'm home for the day, this is, I guess you can think of this week's episode is kind of like a part three of this series. I think it was last year, maybe end of 2023 2024 we did a tough love, tough love episode that was writing just like tough love, and then in the writing process. And then number two was tough love in the editing process. So then think of this one as, I guess, kind of a part three tough love in the querying process.

 

Now I want to issue a little bit more of a warning on this one in particular, because querying is a difficult process, in terms of it actually being difficult to find an agent, but then also mentally, emotionally, it's just hard. There's a reason that people refer to it as the query trenches. Okay, if you are feeling vulnerable, if you're feeling sensitive, if you've been dealing with a lot of rejection lately, and you just don't feel like you are in a state, to be able to handle me talking bluntly and tough to you in this episode, then please don't listen to this one. I did something when I was querying the first time around where I listened to a ton of podcasts. I researched querying. I got a ton of knowledge, but then I kind of capped it at a certain point, and was like, Okay, I don't think once I'm actually querying, I don't think it's helpful for me to consume all this content about how tough it is, because, yeah, it just wasn't helpful for me. So if that's you protect your piece, I get it. This is going to be tough. I mean, I don't know. I like, I always think the other episodes are super hard, but they're not actually that hard. It's just not usually my style. I'm not like a boot camp drill sergeant type of person.

 

So I don't know, but, but the reason, I guess, I want to include this episode because or this topic in the tough love umbrella, because I I'm seeing more and more comments on social media, and more and more of a feeling from people who want to query or who are querying that it's just impossible, and there's no information online about it, and it's just like, all these, all these comments that make me feel some type of way, and we'll get into all that in this episode. But I was like, Yeah, I kind of, I think some writers like, I think you all just kind of need a kick in the ass about querying. So again, if you're feeling fragile, if you're feeling sensitive, totally understand, protect your piece. Don't listen to this episode, but we're going to get into it if you want to stick around.

 

Number one, finding an agent is tough. It is fucking hard to find an agent, which means that if you were experiencing difficulty, meaning your querying is not going the way that you wanted to, you haven't found an agent yet. You haven't gotten full requests yet. That's because querying is difficult. I before this, Googled, and I only Googled for, like, a minute. It was not a very long Google session, but I had heard different statistics on how difficult it is to find an agent. Meaning, out of every, out of all the writers querying, like, how many, what percentage actually do find an agent and it's discouraging. It's it's low, it's extremely low. The best. I saw a lot of numbers. I saw numbers that were very discouraging. I won't even tell you those numbers. The one I saw that was the most optimistic was one out of every 100.

 

Now I don't know exactly where these people are getting these numbers. Some of the some of the articles or blog posts that I looked at from people who are in publishing or have some experience with this, look at the average number of submissions that agents get, and then how many agents they sign every year. And then do some math based on that. So even if we go with one out of 100 that's a 1% success rate to find an agent. It's not impossible. Clearly, even if we're looking at 1% it's not impossible. There are hundreds, if not 1000s, of people who get agents every year. It's got to be 1000s. It can't just be hundreds. I don't know. I don't know, but I've done it. I've found two agents. I'm on. Second agent right now. So it is possible, but it's really, really hard. There are some of you listening who want an agent and are not going to find one that that might mean right now, meaning this first book that you wrote, or whatever number book it is, it might not be the book that gets you an agent. You might have to write another book and query that one in order to get an agent. But it's tough.

 

And I feel like some people just are ready to hear that. They think that they're the exception, that they're gonna get the first agent they send it to is gonna offer them representation, and that's it. Those are their unicorns, like that, but they're very rare, so it's tough. It's tough to find an agent, and it does no good if you just kind of bury your head in the sand and think, like, oh, I don't want to hear about that. Like, I think it's easy to get an agent. Like, I just, I just have to manifest it and, like, write a book, and then, boom, I can get an agent. No, it's tough. It's really, really tough. Okay. Number two, you have to get comfortable with rejection. You have to, okay, you have to develop this muscle of resilience. Why? Because rejection is part of being an author. It is part of being a creative person, putting your works out into the world. If you don't get it from agents, if you don't get it from beta readers, if you don't get it from critique partners, you're going to get it from readers.

 

But you gotta get comfortable with rejection like you cannot. You cannot avoid it, and that shouldn't be the goal. So if you truly feel like you cannot handle a single rejection, then don't query. Don't do it. Number three, you are not the exception. You are not the magical unicorn exception that we occasionally hear about in social media, meaning, oh, there's a debut author who queried 190,000 word fantasy novel and got an agent on their first query. Okay, great, but that person's the fucking exception. It is so rare. It is so hard as a debut author to get an agent. If you're querying 190,000 word novel, you're not the exception. You have to think about yourself as the rule. If you're doing something that you think is different, if you're pushing boundaries, if you're doing something outside the norm, you have to understand that you just you might not good. Get a good reaction from traditional publishing from agents if you're doing that, meaning if your word count is way outside the norm, either way, meaning high or low.

 

You're going to get it in the form of book sales, like rejection is just inherent in this process. And if you are so fragile to the point where you cannot handle a single rejection from an agent without it completely devastating and destroying and derailing you, then you're not ready to query. You should not be querying. You should not be trying to get a book deal with that attitude, if that's your position, where you truly just want to give up, if you get a single rejection, I don't know what to tell you, you gotta work on that resilience muscle. And it is a muscle. It's something that gets better and better and better the more that you do it. I talk all the time about this, like, the very first time that I let someone else read my work, I thought I was gonna throw up and pass out. It was so scary. It was so vulnerable. But then I did it more and more and more and over and over and over, and also query twice, and also sent my book out on submission to publishers. You just get better and better the more that you do it.

 

And if you're wondering about word count, I have some some posts about that. Writer's Digest has a good infographic. You can just Google like word count Writer's Digest. But basically, you want to be in the area of like, 70 to 110 depending if you're if you're doing adult fantasy, you can push up towards 110 honestly, I've say I've heard agents say, like, even slightly under that is, is probably a safe bet when you're querying. But so if you're querying a 50,000 word novel or 150,000 word novel, and you're like, No, but mine's different. I yeah, I know that agents say they don't want that, but I need all of those words or my stories completed this few words, no girl, pull your head out of your ass. You're not the exception. You can't do that. And of course, people point to, oh well, Sarah J mustard, this or Oh, 10 years ago it was, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Publishing changes constantly. Think market.

 

The market changes. You just you got to know what agents are expecting, and then follow the guidelines. And this also, this also, yes, it comes to your book, but it also comes to how you're querying. If an agent tells you do not query me, if you have this subject matter in your book, or send the first 10 pages, and you don't follow those guidelines, meaning you send your manuscript anyway, because, you think they really should read it and, oh well, they need to see the first three chapters instead of the first 10 pages. No, again, pull your head out of your ass. You're not the exception. You're not that special. You have to follow the rules, just like everyone else does. If an agent has guidelines on how they want you to query them, you have to follow it. That's the. Bare minimum. Agents talk ad nauseum about how many rejections they send out just because the person didn't follow the guidelines.

 

So if they ask for the first 10 pages, only send them the first 10 pages. Do not send the full first chapter. If your full first chapter is 14 pages, it's so easy, y'all, you're making it complicated, at least with this part. There are other things in querying I will agree that are a little bit more complicated. This is not one of them. It's not that hard follow the guidelines. You're not special, you're not unique, you're not the exception. You have to abide by the rules. Number four, the information you need is available online. I don't want to hear people complaining about there's no information. All of this is secret. It's gate kept there are publishing. Doesn't want you to know this information. This is what inspired me to make this honestly, because I was seeing all of these comments on social media that were like, We don't know how, and we don't know it's impossible to find any of this information.

 

No, it's not. Do you know how I know everything I know about querying 95% of it is because I researched it both times. I researched it again when I was doing it the second time to see if anything had changed, to get an idea of agents like all that stuff. Right? It's freely available. I could see this argument if it was like 1991 and the Internet wasn't around and you had to, like, buy a book or talk to people who had done it. Sure, maybe there was a bit more mystery around it, but you cannot. I'm sorry, I don't buy that excuse. It's an excuse. That's what it is. There are reputable people talking about this online, there are social media posts. Agents have social media accounts. Agents have blogs. Agents have websites where they are going in depth about what you should do when you query what they're looking for in a manuscript, how to send things, how to write a query letter.

 

Like there's so much information online, again, 95% of what I know about querying is because I've just researched it and done it. There is maybe 5% that comes because I've gone through this process and I've signed with an agent. So maybe 5% that might even be being generous. It might be like 3% of the stuff I know about querying I know because I have, like, what comes after when the agent offers you representation, but there's even stuff online about that. You can read blog posts from people who are like, hey, here are questions to ask an agent when you get on the call to talk about working together, or, I don't know, here's what happens after you sign with an agent. Like, there's even information about that available online. I talk about it even if you do no other homework or research, and you just look at the materials that I have put out my social media content. Episodes of this podcast that are dedicated to querying, you will find resources.

 

And actually, if you're like, I still don't know where to go, start with Google. And if you don't want to start there, just look at your big creative life podcast on Spotify, and you can type in query or querying, and I have like five episodes at least dedicated to this topic. So it's an excuse to say there's no information out there there. It's not some secret that only certain people have. It's not like I know all of this stuff about querying, because my agent is whispering in my ear and telling me trade secrets that no one else knows. It's just you have to do the homework, you have to do the research. And a lot of people just don't want to do the research, which I get, it's a little bit time consuming. And to step back from the tough, tough love approach just for a second, if you're completely new to writing and completely new to all of this, and you're listening to this, and you're like, Wait, I don't even know. I don't even, I don't even know what querying is. I got, you I know there's a learning curve.

 

So if you're brand new, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to people who are, have been querying, have queried already, and are still complaining that they don't know what a query letter is, or, like, they don't, you know, agents don't, won't look at this type of thing. Or, I don't know there's like this attitude that agents are just cackling behind their computer, like gleefully pressing reject on queries that come in. And the reality is, agents are looking for clients. If they say they're open to queries, they want to find clients to represent, they're excited. They're hoping that when they look at their inbox, they get a query that's really solid, and they get a sample that's like a manuscript sample that's really solid. They're looking for that. So I just, I can't stand that, that all of the content online from people or comments who just paint agents of these as these evil villains who are looking for any excuse to gleefully reject you No, like they have said 80% of the time, it's because people don't follow the guidelines.

 

So follow the guidelines, but yeah, if you are genuinely new, like, there is a bit of a learning curve, because I didn't know what a query letter was before I started this process. I had no idea. So you do have to learn the terminology, but all the information you need is available online. Have. Promise. Um, okay. Number five, you have to accept that this book might not be the one that gets you an agent. Okay, I talked about this already. We get better with everything that we write. That's like, one of the biggest tips for for writers that I have on how to improve is to write. You get better at writing by writing. Sounds so obvious. It's so simple. But that's that's It's simple because it's true. So if you are writing your first book and you're querying, you have to accept that this might not be the book that gets you an agent. I've seen people who it takes 34578, books before they get an agent, because their earlier work was just not where it needs to be. It's just not.

 

And one thing you don't want to do, if you're listening to this, I don't want to catch you doing this. Okay, do not query prematurely, because you're so excited. I think that's what happens with a lot of new writers, at least, how agents talk about it. I think this is kind of part of what they see. So a new writer gets done with their book, they're so excited to query. They're so excited to get their book published that they do a little bit of editing like around maybe, and they send the book off and they query it. They don't let anyone read it. They don't give feedback. If they can hire an editor, they but they just don't think they need it. They're not hiring an editor, and you don't have to hire an editor to query. That's not what I'm what I'm saying. It's more just like the person is so excited they don't take the time to make sure that their manuscript is ready.

 

Or worse, they send off an unfinished manuscript or a very, very rough draft when they query, because they're so excited and they just can't wait to get that agent, can't wait to get the big book deal, and then it's rejected. Of course, it's rejected because it's not ready. It's not where it needs to be in terms of quality. So don't do that. Take the time. Take the time improve your craft. Study it. Focus on making the book as good as it possibly can be, and also expect that like, there's a good chance that this won't, this won't be the book that gets you the agent, especially going back to those stats about how hard it is, there's a good chance it won't be the book that gets you an agent. I you an agent. And the next point of love I have for you is you have to stay open. You have to stay open to things unfolding differently than you expected. Meaning, just what I said, this might not be the book that gets you the agent.

 

You might have to submit to a small press first, and then later down the road, you get an agent, or you might decide, fuck this. I'm not querying for all this these years and trying to get an agent, I am making the decision that I want to be an indie author because I want to get more of the royalties. I want to have more creative control. I don't want to deal with the gatekeepers. So you decide to indie publish like you have to be open to things unfolding differently than how you expected. Even Take me, for example, I did not think little 2019 Katie when I signed with my first agent. I didn't think my book was going to die in submission. My first book did get me an agent, but then that book didn't sell. And there's no I like that was not in my plan for that to happen. And if you told me, Oh, in six years, in 2025 you're still not gonna have a published book. I would have probably just cried and given up.

 

So you have to be open to things unfolding differently than you expected. You have to be able to pivot and accept like this is a difficult industry, and not to get too doomsday and talk about AI and derail the conversation completely. But we're going to have to adapt with AI. We're going to have to get smart. We're going to have to think about different ways of doing things. None of us knows exactly what this market is going to look like, what the publishing landscape, the writing landscape, is going to look like in the next 510, 20 years. So you have to there has to be some level of flexibility. And if you are so rigid, and you're not open, you're not willing to look at other options, then you might be in for a really fucking tough road, I just gotta say, and sometimes, I mean again, step back slightly from the tough love approach. Sometimes books just don't find an agent, or don't find a publisher because of something that has nothing to do with the quality of the writing.

 

Sometimes agents, editors, whoever just don't acquire it or sign you because they don't know how to sell it. They don't know how to position your book in the market. And if an agent doesn't know how to sell your book, they're not going to sign it. They're not going to offer to represent you and take you on as a client. So sometimes there are things where it's like your book could just be something that's better as an indie, like, you might be better indie publishing it, or fighting a small press who deals with this specific niche that you are writing in, where you're doing something experimental, you're blending genres, or you're not abiding by genre conventions. Like, you're gonna have a tough time, then an agent probably won't offer to represent you. So in those cases, like, there's a lot of reasons why an agent just would pass and decide not to offer representation outside of, oh, the book just isn't good. That happens, so just know that too.

 

Okay, that's my tough love approach. If I could leave you with anything, if I could leave you with anything, it's that I hate this attitude of. Helplessness that people seem to have on social media. Not everyone. This is a tough love episode, so I'm focusing on the negatives here. So many people are lovely and willing to learn and willing to do the work and want to grow, and that's like the majority of people. But there's this vocal group on social media that I get so irritated at because they're like, they have this attitude of helplessness. Like, well, I've queried like, 300 agents, and I can't find one, and it's because, you know, I'm writing outside of conventions, or they're just, they won't take a chance on someone who's not in the industry already, or it's because I don't have money, and it's like, all this stuff that just isn't true. Or people who are like, there's no you can't find any of this information online, like, good luck querying. Good luck finding agents to query, because it's all gate kept.

 

Oh no, it's not that is not how this works. Oh my god. It's like the people that claim that you need a big social media following to get a book deal for fiction, like, if you would just take two seconds and verify that you would see that. That's not true, but it gets attention, I guess, on social media. So if I, yeah, if I could leave you with anything, it's like querying is a challenging process. That's why that was the first point in this episode. It is really tough, but it's not impossible, and the information that you need is available online to find you just have to do the legwork to figure it out. Okay, the other episodes, tough love, over and done with. If you do need some encouragement, please check out the other querying episodes. Like I said, I have been through this process a couple of times. It is very difficult, emotionally, mentally, yeah, I'm thinking about you. I'm with you.

 

This is just, yeah, I think we and we didn't even get into the whole getting a book deal thing. I really just wanted to focus on querying here, because that's like the first obstacle is just getting an agent. But again, if you are querying, I'm thinking about you. I know it's difficult. Do what you can to take care of yourself during this process, meaning, write something new, do something fun for yourself. Set a reward every time you send out a certain amount of queries celebrate every little bit of progress, even if you get one partial request or one full request, that's amazing. It means an agent saw something in your sample.

 

So that's that's promising, yeah, okay, if you would like more tough love, you can go back and check out the tough love writing and the tough love editing episodes, meaning like editing your own work, not working with an editor, but tough love for self editing, because that's, that's a piece of it, too. All right. Thank you for listening. I hope this was helpful if you just needed a kick in the ass to kind of get you set up for this, or maybe you're thinking about querying and kind of wanted a like a tough I don't know, drill sergeant to yell at you about querying. Next week, we'll be back to the regularly scheduled Katie, not the drill sergeant Katie, because I it's fun to do for a little bit, but that's just not me. So, all right, thank you for listening or watching.

Katie Wolf