197: The Tough Love Episode: Social Media

 

Sometimes you just need a kick in the pants when it comes to social media - because it's 2025, and part of being an author means promoting yourself and your books and being on social media. If that's what you need, this episode is for you!

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The Tough Love Episode: Social Media

 

Friends, welcome to Your Big Creative Life podcast. I'm recording this on my brand new MacBook Air. I got a new computer a couple of days ago. I had like a 7 year old Acer laptop that was having more and more Issues and the screen was cracked and I'm just like I just got to a Point where I had to get a new computer before the old one went out, and what I didn't want to happen… I was so afraid it would die on me right before an editing project was due or something. And of course I have everything backed up in the cloud. It's not like if my computer broke, I would lose the work or something, but it just like I did not want to deal with that. So I got a new computer which is very exciting and I've had to download all my programs and get everything set up, which is exciting. But I I brought my mic with me. I'm recording at my co working space today. And I brought my mic, but it has the USB cord and I can't plug a USB into a Mac, which is the most annoying part about Apple. I hate that you have to like buy the adapters and I need to get a little converter so I can plug in my mic, but I think I suspect that the audio quality will be better on a MacBook, a new MacBook versus my 7 year old Acer. So we'll see how it sounds without the microphone plugged in, but yeah, so it's very exciting.

OK, I want to talk about social media today. We have done a number of tough love episodes within the last year or so, we did a tough love writing, tough love editing, tough love querying podcast where I basically just yell at you about whatever you need to be yelled at about any of those topics, because sometimes I mean, if you listen to my podcast for a while or you follow me on social media, you know that I'm not someone who just yells at people and uses like the drill Sergeant, kind of motivational style. That's not really my jam, but I do think that we need to kick in the *** sometimes. And so I'm going to kick your *** and motivate you today about social media because, well, you'll find out why. Once we get into the tips. So if you're feeling fragile about social media and UM just in your feels about it and you are not in a mindset or headspace to be yelled at, totally fine, don't listen to this episode because it might hurt your feelings. If you're feeling kind of fragile about it. I think that's the only disclaimer that I need to include.

All right, we… I have like 6-5 or six things to yell at you about, I guess number one, you need to have acceptance of the fact that social media is a part of an author’s job. It is 2025 y'all you are not a special unicorn who gets to opt out of being on social media because oh. This author, who's a New York Times bestselling author and has been publishing for 40 years, isn't on Instagram, so therefore I don't have to be fuck that you're not special. You are not a New York Times bestselling author who has been publishing books for 40 years. You're not. You are not the exception. You're not special. You have to be on social media just like everyone else, OK? I don't want to hear it that so and so doesn't have social media. You've got to you've got to accept the fact that this is where we are. This is what it means to be an author in 2025. Acceptance doesn't mean you have to like it; acceptance doesn't mean you have to be thrilled about it or love it. It just means accepting that this is part of what it means to be an author.

Being an author is not just writing the book. That is a piece of it, but there's so much else that goes into being an author who is published and look quick, pause on the tough love. If you just want to write a book for creative fulfillment, you don't actually want to publish. You don't actually want to put your work out there for readers like, that's fine. Then this episode is not for you because if you want to be published, then you have to be on social media. OK. So you're not a unicorn who gets to opt out. This is just accepted. What we're so beyond this conversation. You just have to be on social media, OK? I'm not saying you have to post 17 times a day on all different platforms, but you just have to have some kind of presence.

Number two, stop trying for traditional publishing because you want them to do marketing and promotion for you. I see this attitude sometimes from authors who are writing their first book and they're like Oh well, I want to get traditionally published because I just want to focus on the writing. I don't want to be on social media. I don't want to have to do the promotion or the marketing. So I just… I'm going to get traditionally published. Well, first of all, wanting to get traditionally published does not mean you're going to get traditionally published. So there's that. But then #2. Traditionally, published authors talk frequently about how it's not like they just get to sit back and never talk about their books online because they're traditionally published. I am not traditionally published. I'm hoping to be. I have an agent, we are getting ready to go out on submission soon with my book. So I don't have the personal experience of this, but this is just something that traditionally, published authors talk about all the time and like mega, successful authors talk about this. This is not just oh, it's my first book on building up readers, so I've got to promote it. It goes hand in hand. Even if you get a book deal at a Big 5 publisher. You cannot opt out of connecting with readers and promoting and talking about your book online and expect to just sit back and write and have the publisher do all the work for you. Again, it's 2025. It's not going to cut it. Being an author has changed.

The publishing landscape has changed and I think going forward in this age of AI and the craziness on social media, it's going to be even more important for you to build a brand for yourself, and that means not being just sitting back and thinking you get to write and do nothing else. If all you want to do is write, then maybe publishing isn't for you. And I'm not saying that to be mean and I'm just saying if all you want to do, you don't care about readers, you don't care about book sales, you don't care about any of that stuff. All you want to do with your time is the actual sit down at a computer and right part. Then that's perfectly fine. And that's lovely. But maybe publishing that isn't for you. Maybe you don't actually want to be a published author. You just want to be an author. Writes books for enjoyment and maybe share them with family and friends. And again, that's fine. That's amazing. There are lots of authors who do that. So yeah, don't assume that like trad pub is the answer. If you just don't want to do marketing or promoting or be on social media because it's not, you're going to be in for a rude awakening if you do end up getting an agent and a book deal, which again, that's not there are lots of people who want to be traditionally published who aren't. So that's not even a guarantee.

#3 content. Social media is not a monolith. You get to pick something that works for you, whether it's text, pictures, video, whatever, stop treating social media like it's one thing and just saying I'm going to opt out of all social media because I don't like it. Well, tough *******, you're going to have to like some part of it. I don't care if you are not comfortable being on camera. That's fine. You don't have to show your face on camera. You can do pictures. You can be on threads. You can write a sub stack. You do not have to sit and record yourself talking to the camera in order to be successful on social media or even just be on social media. OK, there are so many options. I don't want you to feel limited and you shouldn't feel limited. Because if you don't want to show your face, you don't have to. If you prefer video content, awesome. There are multiple ways. You can do. That it's not like there's just one ave. for social media, so to lump all of it together and say that you hate all of it and you're not going to do any. Well, I'm sorry. Pick your poison.

What do you hate the least? What can you stomach if that's where you start? If that's your baseline, I am more than OK with that, but you have to pick one thing to start with, OK, pick what feels good and it might be trial and error. Maybe try something and figure uh, that's not really right for me or I don't really like this. Like, let me try this other thing totally fine. I experimented just as an example. I experimented with threads when Instagram first released threads because I was like, oh, you know, I was on Twitter like 6 years ago because I thought I had to be and I hated it. So let me see if things have changed. Maybe I would like threads. I don't. So I don't post on threads. I tried it for a bit, realized it wasn't for me. I'm going to focus my efforts elsewhere. I like video content, so that's what I'm prioritizing and it's fine.

OK, #4. You're being a snob by not being on social media. You are not above or better than social media. Because guess what social media means connecting with readers. This is OK. This is point number six that I had but like or five, I guess I'm going to combine these because the point #5 is a reframe that, like the Internet, has made, being an author harder in some ways. Because you do have to promote and you do have to be present in more ways than you did in the past. But also it's made it so much easier in some ways because you get to connect with readers and to say that you don't do social media or you want to be hands off. To me, sometimes implies a level of like snobbishness like you think you are just an artist with a capital A and you want to be precious and just create your art and not like connect with the people who are consuming your art. And again, if you only want to write, that's fine. But if you want to be a published author, if you want to be an indie author, if you want to try and get traditionally published, then connecting with readers is a big part of it and social media makes that possible. That is a reframe that I really want you to hear, and I really want you to embrace. Yes, it can feel like a lot of work. It can feel like something extra you have on your plate to be posting on social media but it is an amazing thing.

The opportunities that social media affords us, I mean, y'all know, since I'm not a published author yet, I can't talk about promoting a book and being an author who connects with readers. But social media has grown my freelancing business in a way that. It just wouldn't be possible before social media. I get clients. 95% of my clients through social media. The other 5% is client referrals, which are awesome, but it's through social media, it's through Instagram and TikTok and this podcast. That is how I get clients, I guess like. Maybe. OK, maybe 90%, maybe the other 5% comes from like my website where people just happen to find me because of SEO or something. But it's exploded my business. I would not have been able to do this. I would not have been able to quit my job and take this full time if it weren't for social media. So and the same thing is true of authors. I mean, I've heard so many authors talk about this indie authors, hybrid authors traditionally published authors. All different genres that social media makes things possible in a way that it just it it's changed the ceiling of potential. For being an author. So yes, there are bad things that come with it, but also it is an amazing opportunity and a privilege to be able to connect with people. The way that you can to put your work out into the world to share about your books. That's amazing to reach people who otherwise would never know who you are would never encounter your work. We need to start acting like that's a privilege because it is. It's a really cool opportunity. So for you to say Nope, I'm not gonna do that… social media. I just. I'm not going to waste my time. It's too much work. I feel like some of y'all need to get over your snobbishness. Like you're not better than social media. I don't know. You're not a pure artist if you just write and don't do social media. That's insane. And you sound you sound snobby when you say that or when you think that way. You talk that way.

OK, so the next point I kind of touched on was like, yeah, it's made it being harder in some ways, but. It's also a great way to connect with readers. OK, next point, this is a bit of tough love that I want you to just… I want you to hear me. Keep it open. Mind with this, you suck at content because you don't post content and you don't practice and you don't let yourself fail and you're too caught up in analytics. Is that what I said? With writing, we talk all the time about how you improve as a writer by writing. You learn how to write a book by writing a book. Why do we think content creation is any different? Why do we think social media is different the very first time that you put yourself on camera and you post a talking video? It's going to be scary as ****, probably, and it's probably not going to be very good. I mean. Some people are naturals and it's fine, but for a lot of us it's just OK. Maybe it doesn't suck, but it's not great. But guess what? You get better by creating content and posting and getting comfortable in improving, you start to notice what hooks people you start to notice. Like, let me cut this and let me try this and text on screen and your confidence goes up. All of those things you get so much better, and even if we're not talking about video content, even if you're just talking about a static post, a carousel post on Instagram. If you're talking about writing ablog post or creating a sub stack in emailing people. Whatever it is, you get better. The more that you do it, but you have to practice. You have to have to get the reps in, so if it feels like a slog in the beginning, if you have 11 followers on Instagram and you're like. This is just. This is so frustrating. I'm posting once a week and I'm not gaining followers and I don't have a massive platform yet. ******* **** you don't because you're posting once a week and you're expecting people to just come flooding and you've been posting on Instagram for a month.

Well, no. It's hard to grow. It takes time and it takes time and it takes content. So if you're feeling, UM, discouraged and you're feeling like, oh, wow, I've been at this for a whole month and I don't have all of these followers yet. Well, you're in the building phase right now. You're in the phase of wraps. You're in the phase of putting in the work before you necessarily see the payoff. I am experiencing this real time in my new account on TikTok and Instagram I created. A couple of months ago I split my accounts so I have @theKatieWolf  on Instagram and TikTok, which is my personal author account. I talk a little bit about writing out on there. I talk a little bit about like updates on where I'm at with things but I don't talk a lot about my book because I don't have a book to promote yet, but eventually that will be where I do that right? And also, just like personal ****, I love creating content. And so I wanted to give myself permission to just post whatever the hell I want to post because I find it a creative outlet. I love doing it and it's I have to start over maybe 50 or 100 people followed me from @KatieWolfWrites and I guess that's partly because I haven't really shared much about it. I probably need to do a better job of just announcing to the people who follow me on @KatieWolfWrites, which is the writing and business account that, hey, I have this personal account.

I haven't done a great job with that, but anyways, so on TikTok right now, as of the time I'm recording this I have like 950 followers, which is amazing. That's a lot of followers, but it's not 59,000 like I have on my other TikTok account my Instagram account has like 150 followers which is awesome. I'm so happy, but I've been doing this. I've been posting every single day multiple times a day and for three or three months maybe. And I have 150 followers on Instagram. It's not an immediate thing. It takes time to build up, and you can get lucky. Of course, like you can have a video go viral and get thousands of followers in a span of 24 hours. That can happen. It has happened to me before, but you're in the building phase. You have to kind of go through that phase where, like you are practicing and you are figuring out your voice, you're figuring out how to talk about writing. You're figuring out how to talk about yourself and your books. You need that time to practice before you're extremely visible. And it freaks you out and sends your nervous system into a spin. So you have to stop placing so much emphasis on followers and numbers and what it all means, because in the beginning you just have to give yourself permission to suck and to kind of be figuring it out and so many people don't want to do that because their ego is tied into it and they think, like, well, what's the point? Only 15 people saw this post that I made on Instagram so what's the point? Well, that's 15 more people than would have heard about it.

Otherwise, if you create a post on Instagram and you preview a I don't know cover of your book, that it's going to be releasing in a couple of months15 people now know about that book that many didn't know about the book before. And you wouldn't have had that opportunity before social media, you would have to do in person marketing. It would have looked very different and it would have been limited. So I just want you to reframe that as well like. Take your take your ego out of it. You've got to stop being so precious with it and just remember, like you were in the building phase. If you want to get comfortable with content and you want to build up a platform and support book sales in the future, you've got to be in this foundational phase. So. OK. Tough love over. I guess what I want to say in closing. What do I want to say in closing. I don't really know if I have like a succinct wrap up for you. I guess it just goes back to what I said at the beginning in which is that this is just a part of being an author and to think that you're above it or you get to opt out for some reason just because you don't like it. You can't really have that mindset anymore.

And you all know that I talk about writing as something that you fit into your life. Oh, quit your job and shut yourself in your room and write for seven hours a day to write a book. That's not how I think we should write. I don't think that's practical or realistic for 99.9% of us. I don't think it's healthy, so content can be the same way. You can easily take 5 minutes three times a week to come up with a post. And then you're posting on social media three times. Which is awesome. You can do this very quickly and the more that you do it, the quicker you get because I know it did take me. It used to take me a long time because I'd have to research and think and tweak and uh, what are the right hashtags and like none of that **** is **** is worth obsessing over. You can very easily create content in five to 10 minutes a day, or even just a few times a week. Start if you want. It does not have to take over your life and the way that some people talk about it is like, oh, I'm writing. I can't be expected to do social media as well, content. It's just too much. I have too much on my plate. And it's not. You can even do a content sprint just like a writing sprint, do a content Sprint where you brainstorm, jot something down, slap it up on Instagram. Boom. Done. And then you can get back to writing.

OK. So that's, I guess like another tip is to just stop making it take up so much space in your brain because it's just like something you can check off if you truly don't love social media. That's OK, it can just be one of those things that you check off on your To Do List for the week. You know, you can even sit down and do 3 posts together. So once a week you just do take. I don't know, 30 minutes or an hour or whatever you need and create a couple of posts. That's it then. You're done. OK. That's our tough love episode I. I actually have one more thing to say I have a lot to say about social media. If you can't tell because I love it so much and I didn't used to love it, and I used to have a completely different mindset around it. And so like, I almost feel like I almost feel sometimes, like I'm preaching or like proselytizing about it because I I just want to, like, spread the gospel of content because I love it so much. But I'm an introvert. I'm someone who used to hate posting on social media, thought it was cringy thought it was so embarrassing if something got 10 views or 10 likes or five likes or whatever. But over the time that I've been doing this, I've really grown to love content, so if you are thinking I hate content, I'm an introvert. I'm shy. You can still do this, and you may even surprise yourself and get to a point where you like it. That could happen too. So keep an open mind with it. Don't assume that how you feel about it now is going to stay. It's going to stay that way forever. OK, I've got to finish my episode now because my reservation and my little pod at my coworking space is up. Someone's waiting to come in the room, so I gotta stop yapping. But I hope that was helpful. Please listen to this. If you just need that kick in the *** to get you going, and you can check out the other tough love episodes as well. Previous episodes of the podcast about writing, editing, and query. So I hope this was helpful.

Katie Wolf