228: 3 Things Sabotaging Your Writing

 

As writers, we can often sabotage our own writing efforts, sometimes without realizing it! We'll cover three sometimes sneaky ways we can self-sabotage and how to prevent it. 

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3 Things Sabotaging Your Writing

Hi friend, welcome back to your Big Creative Life podcast. The lighting on my camera looks a little bit odd. I record in these little pods and they don't have the best lighting. I've been thinking lately about like getting a more, trying to DIY some more like professional podcasts set up, like having a spot in my house. Even a couple of months ago, actually longer than that, probably like a year ago, I bought one of those podcasts, like microphone stands where the microphone hangs on the stand and you can sit and then it looks very professional, like in all those clips you see on social media, professional podcasts. but I never got it set up. Honestly, the way, like this is, okay, this is how I think about content. This is how I think about the podcast. And you could take this if it's helpful for you and your own social media content. I, if something feels very hard and there's like a lot of effort that's just required to do even the basic thing, I'm probably not gonna do it. Which is why from the beginning of starting this podcast, I've been like, okay, how can I make this as easy as possible? How can I make this as small of a lift as possible. Because if I had to have my hair done, my makeup done, professional lighting, a great background, if I had to have everything edited for YouTube, like it would be so much more work.

And I guess you could say like maybe I'd get more traction and I would get more views if I did that. But I don't know. It just feels like a lot to me. And I probably wouldn't do it. Or I would dread it. Or I don't know. I'm just not at a place right now where I want to devote 15 hours a week to the production of the podcast and to the YouTube videos and all that stuff. So this is what I'm doing instead. I'm making it easy. Y'all get the content either on the episode, like the podcast episode itself, or on YouTube where the video is. I just kind of slap it up. And that's And that's what's doable right now. And I think about that with content as well. Like if you're thinking about TikTok content or Instagram content, and if your barrier to entry, if your minimum viable post is, oh, I have to, I have to have this done. I have to have this done. I have to have the perfect backdrop. I have to have a script. I have to have this. I have to have really fancy editing and quick cuts. Like it's a lot to do one single video. I don't know.

And not everyone feels that way, but I just, for me, I've learned like, how can I do things quickly and easily? Because then I'm so much more likely to actually follow through and do them. And I've been consistent with this podcast for years now. I mean, this is like episode, what, 228 or something? So anyways, that's a little mini, like rant about social media, I guess. Like this is how I'm able to do it. I keep it simple. I keep it, I lower the resistance. And that's it. Maybe someday I'll feel like I have the energy to kind of like play around with a setting and make it more professional. Because I do suspect if I did that, I would get more views and downloads or whatever. Well, maybe not downloads since the video doesn't matter for that, but I don't know. I'm thinking out loud, I guess, about the podcast and YouTube. Anyways. I want to talk about a couple of sneaky ways that you might be procrastinating when it comes to your writing, because these are things that all of us can do if we're not careful or sort of on the lookout for these things.

Some of this stuff might be conscious, like you're aware that you're doing this, and some of it might be subconscious. So that's why I want to explicitly state what these things are. And of course, This episode is 3 things that are sabotaging your writing. There could be like 500 things that are sabotaging your writing, because writing is hard in the sense that our brain is our own worst enemy when it comes to writing. Like, yes, our brain is how we access our creativity, partly, and it's where like ideas come from, but it's also the thing that stands in our way. That's why so many writers like say they want to write a book and they start, but then they never finish it. or it's why people get writer's block, or it's why people just like stop themselves before they even really get started, because it is hard and it brings up a lot of mindset stuff. So there are a ton of things that could be standing in the way, but these are just three things I've been thinking about recently. I've been talking about with clients recently. I have a coaching client right now who's really struggling with a lot of mindset stuff and a lot of comparison, which is the first thing that we're going to talk about. So this is kind of fresh on my mind. And the first thing sabotaging your writing is the comparison trap. And there's two pieces to this that we're going to touch on. There's the comparison trap of trying to make your writing sound like someone else's, meaning you're comparing your skill and your voice to someone else's, and then also comparing your first draft to someone's finished, published book that is like available on Amazon or in bookstores, right? It's both of those things. It's like the mindset comparison, but then also comparing the actual like product, the writing, the manuscript.

And let's touch on the voice or the, you know, feeling like your writing needs to match someone else's. Because I think this is something that I really struggled with at the beginning. I've talked before about how when I started writing, I had a lot of, well, not a lot, I had some lingering snobbishness about literary fiction and thinking that was just automatically better. And it was like remnants of stuff that was just swirling around leftover from getting an English lit degree. My undergrad degree is in English lit. And it's so ingrained there because we read no, like, I don't want to say no genre fiction, but because I can't remember, but I don't think we really did. It's not like we were reading any romance. It's not like we were reading any fantasy or thrillers or mysteries or anything that wasn't classic, like either the classics or poetry or non-fiction that was like decades old or literary fiction. That's all we read. And so that definitely had an impact on me of thinking like, okay, this is just the gold standard. And when I started writing, I realized that my style, my voice, the way that the words were coming out on the page, just like my natural flow of how I was writing, it didn't sound very literary. And it was very difficult for me to try to force myself into this box to sound literary with like incredibly lush descriptions, incredibly rich prose that had tons of metaphors. That's just not how I write. There are writers who do that so well. And I probably can, if I really worked on it, I'm sure that I could make my writing closer to that.

But It feels like so much work. Writing is already hard enough, like telling a compelling story and the characters in the world and conflict and all that stuff. It's already hard enough. So for me to try to force myself to write in a literary fiction type of way, even though that's not really what I want to write, it just feels hard. It feels like I'm putting extra barriers in my way. And so what I found is like, I just had to give myself permission to write the way that I was writing. And I think I'm a strong writer. I'm not saying like I'm bad or that my sentences are simplistic. I'm just saying that that's not my voice and my skill as a writer. There are writers who do that well. And that's just not how my voice is. And I've learned to make peace with that. And I've learned that that's okay. Again, it doesn't mean that like, I can't really work at something and try to infuse that into my sentences, but I don't know. I'm not writing lit fic. So for me to spend all of this energy trying to force myself to write in that style when that's not even the genre that I'm writing feels like an exercise in frustration and, you know, futility. So anyways, your writing voice is just like the way that it comes out on the page. Most writers just have this natural sort of way that things come out. And of course, you're going to edit it. Of course, you're going to shape it. I'm not saying like your first draft is just your voice and you have to leave it. But we all have our own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to writing.

And the actual ability to string a sentence together is a very different skill than creating compelling characters, building an effective world, creating an immersive story, plot, premise. Those are different skills. And you have, it's a Venn diagram, right? Some writers have some of both. Those are the writers who are very lucky and very gifted and work very hard maybe to have both. But not everyone does, and that's okay. Because again, the ability to tell a compelling story that readers will get so immersed in and love isn't always the same skill as stringing a perfectly technically beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful sentence together, right? Those are just different things. So it's okay if you are on one side of the spectrum or the other in terms of the, your prose or your storytelling or whatever. Like it's just not, we all have strengths and weaknesses and it's best to just kind of lean into what your strength is, particularly if it fits like the genre that you're writing. So you're never going to sound like someone else and that's on purpose. That's a good thing because you are not just a carbon copy of what another author is doing. that's a recipe for burnout and unhappiness. I think if you are constantly trying to adjust yourself to fit what you think you should be or how you think you should sound to be like, you know, someone else. Now there is, there's nuance to this because we talk a lot about like reading as a writer, you know, reading published books and really looking at what the author's doing in terms of storytelling, what tools they're using, how they're creating compelling characters, how they're creating tension or suspense in a scene.

And some of that can just sort of, you can soak up some of that. Like I learned how to write a thriller, how to write a really tense, ominous sort of vibe by doing a lot of reading and practicing. So yes, there's a bit of osmosis that happens where you're sort of absorbing different books, but that happens over a process of years, right? I'm just saying, if you are a big reader in your genre and you have a particular author who you love, Don't make the mistake of forcing yourself to sound exactly like this person because you're such a fan or you think that that's what writing should be. Now also, the other part of this comparison trap is comparing your first draft to a finished book. And if you are looking at a traditionally published book that's available in bookstores that you can buy, that book has gone through a ridiculous amount of editing. We don't know how much exactly, like, there's, I don't know, some writers do write a cleaner first draft than others, but there's always editing that goes into it. And if they're traditionally published, there's editing that goes into it. by multiple people doing multiple different rounds, different types of editing.

That book has been shaped and polished so much. So it's not a fair comparison at all to look at that published, edited book and then compare it to your first draft of something, especially, I'm going to put an underline on this part, especially if it's your first book. That was a trap I also fell into when I was first starting to write, is I would look at authors who've been writing for decades and who were just incredible. And I'm like, God, I could never be like this. But also like, again, going back to the voice thing, I wasn't, I shouldn't be trying to make myself sound like them. But then also those people who've been writing for decades and they were traditionally published. So of course, my first attempt at my first book, like the first messy draft, of course it doesn't sound like that. That's ridiculous. So just talk back to that part of yourself if you start to feel that comparison come in. You never know how messy someone's first draft is. That traditionally published book that you hold up is like the gold standard. It could have been a disaster of a first draft. You just never know. Okay, next up, next way that you can sabotage your writing.

Aiming for perfection on the first draft. If you've listened to the podcast before, chances are you've heard me talk about my approach that I recommend for writers, especially new writers, which is to focus on getting the first draft out before you go back to edit. Now, of course, it's not wrong to edit as you go. If that works for you, and it does work for some writers, that's great. I'm just saying there's this sneaky way that, or not even sneaky really, it's just a way that writers can sabotage their efforts to get the first draft out where they're just being so obsessive and perfectionistic about word choice and grammar and like finding the perfect, I don't know, sentence. And you can do that but it's going to take you so long to write. That's what gets frustrating. That's where you could lose momentum. That's where you can be tempted to give up because it's just taking you so long to get everything else. It feels like an impossible thing to try to craft the perfect sentence on your first go through. So just pay attention if you feel like you are putting so much pressure on yourself of like, I cannot move on in this draft until I figure this sentence out. It doesn't sound quite right. I think there should be a comma here, but I'm not totally sure. How do I describe this thing? What's the perfect adjective to use? All of that can be polished later.

Don't stall out, you know, and get stuck doing that. And finally, the third thing that can sabotage your writing efforts is too much focus or importance on planning slash world building slash slash researching. So this is going to vary depending on if you're writing fantasy or any speculative fiction or not. That's the world building piece. But I want to talk about the planning and the researching part of it first. And this can even include like outlining. So some writers prefer to do a ton of outlining and brainstorming and figuring out the book and everything that happens before they start writing. And that's great. That's fine. That approach definitely works. There are also authors who are, maybe you're writing historical fiction and you feel like you have to do a ton of research before you start. And maybe you do need to do a lot of research before you begin just to figure out the time period that you're writing in, to figure out the geographic location that you're writing in, to immerse yourself in that world, in that time period. That's all fine. But this can be a form of self-sabotage where you never actually start writing. It's like a form of procrastination or it can be where you're so focused on figuring everything out or getting everything perfect or planning every little scene down to the exact detail that you never start writing. It's It's a slippery slope.

And this is where some insight and some self-reflection is important because you have to get honest with yourself about like, if you are using this planning, outlining, researching as a way to not start, or if you feel some panicky sensation in your body about like, well, I can't start. I haven't figured out this exact thing in this exact detail. And like, you know, I guess a question to ask yourself is like, Will this impact everything in the book to the point where I cannot start writing until I figure this thing out? Or is it just a minor detail that comes into play on page 10 and it's a scene where you have to see like, oh, did this, would this have been historically accurate that a character says this phrase this way or not? Like you can always look at that stuff later. Don't let that be the thing that stops you from that either stops you from starting to write your book or just, you stall out, you've got like a chapter to done and then you panic and feel like you have to do 2 years worth of research before you continue.

So for those of you who are planners who do like to do a lot of outlining, I especially want to caution against this pressure of figuring out all like the best way to outline or the best like I don't know, all of the beats that you have to hit ahead of time. Because all that's well and good, it's fine to do that. There are methods of outlining or brainstorming where you come up with a very complicated beat sheet of like, I hit this beat, then this happens, then this happens, then this happens. And for some readers, some writers, that is helpful and good and that structure is exactly what they need. But again, going back to that whole getting honest with yourself thing, you've got to check in and see, like, am I panicking about this because it feels like I can control all of this stuff and it's nice and like, it's kind of black and white, the structure, and I'm afraid to actually start writing? You got to get honest with yourself about it. And I want to touch on, last thing I mentioned here, In this third point, it's just the too much focus or too much importance on world building. Because if you're writing speculative fiction, let's just say fantasy, for example, because that's the most common genre that I edit, like most of my clients, not most.

A lot of my clients are fantasy authors. So if you're developing a world, if you are creating a magic system, all of that, Yes, there is a lot of that stuff that should be figured out ahead of time because it's going to directly impact the setting. It's going to directly impact your character's abilities and personality and what they want, what they're working towards. It's going to impact the conflict, the actual plot, like what happens, all of that stuff. It's all interconnected. So it makes sense that you have to spend some time developing the worlds and the magic system ahead of time. Totally on board with that. However, just like what I mentioned about researching and planning and outlining, that same thing can happen with worldbuilding. So always remember why you're worldbuilding in the 1st place. It's not just because it's a fun, creative exercise. At some point you have to start writing. And the thing about planning and researching and worldbuilding is you could make a decision ahead of time, like, oh, my world's going to be this way, or this is what's going to happen in the plot. And then either you actually start writing the book or you continue writing the book, you get further into the draft and you realize that your understanding of that thing has changed and you made a decision about the magic system or the power structure or the land, whatever, that no longer works. So you have to course correct and tweak it slightly anyways.

That happens a lot in the process of writing. Or even for those of you who aren't writing fantasy, that can happen a lot with your characters and your plot where you have to adjust what's happening because you realize that like the decision you made or what you wanted to happen no longer makes sense for the story. And that's a good thing to adjust and be flexible. So just keep that in mind about world building too. Like it might be something that you have to come back to in editing to really nail down. It might be something that you get clarity on as you get into the story. You just never know. So there has to be that small part that just stays open and flexible and willing to course correct and adjust. So remember that. It really can feel like all of this stuff is so urgent and so important. And yes, it is, but it's like you learn how to do all of this stuff by doing it. And so you might just get clarity as you, again, as you start writing or as you get into the story. So Watch out for all three of these things as you are starting to write your book, planning to write your book, outlining, starting to write it because it really can be sneaky.

Our brains, like I said in the beginning, our brains are the asset when it comes to writing, but they're also our own worst enemies where we can overthink things, we can self-sabotage in insane ways. And I've seen this if I think about coaching clients, especially because when I work with a coaching client, we're working together for six months and they check in with me. I have an app that I use with my coaching clients where they can check in with me Monday through Friday, like once a day. And so they'll send me a text message or a voice message. And I get to see like over the course of those six months, what's happening. And it's really interesting with some clients how sneaky this self-sabotage can show up. And I can spot it because I'm outside of the person, but the person can't always spot it until we discuss it. We bring it out to the light, they articulate it, and then it's like, oh, That's just some story that my brain is telling me. Like, that's not factual. That's not accurate. So yeah, we really can be, our brains can be sneaky when it comes to this stuff. So don't let it stop you in your tracks. Like, you can just recognize there's just a part of your brain that is scared of doing this thing and wants to keep you safe where it's familiar. And you can just say thank you and move on. All right, thanks for listening, and I'll see you all next week. Thank you for listening.

Katie Wolf